“Aging is not for the faint of heart.
It requires a slower pace, a steadier step,
and the wisdom to say goodbye without fear.”
—Meryl Streep

“I never heard of a jazz musician who retired.
You love what you do, so what are you
going to do, play for the walls?”
—Nat Adderley

I’ve been thinking about retirement.

For old road dogs like me, retirement is a tricky proposition.

Do we even want to retire? We love what we do. Why should we stop?

Occasionally you'll hear about a musician retiring “from stage to page,” exchanging public performance for the solitary work of composing music or writing a memoir. Others become painters, poets, or novelists. That's less retirement than reinvention.

Nobody expects us to retire. Most of our heroes didn’t. Unlike professional athletes, jazz musicians don’t “age out” of the business. When our strength, stamina, or chops begin to wane, we adapt. We simplify. We change our style.

Most of us can’t afford to retire. Self-employed artists rarely make enough to build any real retirement savings, and many end up with modest Social Security benefits. We’re responsible for our own healthcare. We don’t get paid vacations. We don’t receive paychecks, pensions, or 401k matching funds. We’re out here on our own.

A fortunate few get to expire on the bandstand. Bonus points if you drop dead during the applause, right after your brilliant solo! This exit strategy is called The Big Finish. We should all be so lucky.

The retirement plan for most of us, however, is The Slow Fade. You keep working because you must. Over time your health, mobility, and mental sharpness begin to decline. At the same time you experience a decrease in professional activity and cultural relevance. It feels like ageism, but it’s entropy. Fewer gigs, smaller crowds, less attention. A gradual slide from relative notoriety into obscurity and, eventually, total anonymity.

Fading out was never my plan. I wanted to finish the story on a high note. I wanted to go out on top.

When I was first starting out, I envisioned my career as a steady climb upward until finally, in my ultimate season, the capstone: a glorious Farewell Tour! I imagined joyously returning to all my favorite festivals, clubs, and concert halls for one final performance. I would play my heart out, then retire to a quiet life of leisure.

Now both of those dreams—the steady ascent and the victory lap—sound grandiose and incredibly naive to me. I've had a good run, but it felt less like scaling a mountain than navigating a winding river. Not a disciplined escalation so much as a cunning negotiation of life’s twists and turns, ebbs and flows, ups and downs.

Nevertheless, the idea of “a quiet life of leisure” sounds pretty good right about now.

After ten thousand gigs and half a century of hustling, I'm ready to rest, though the rewards of a life in music rarely arrive in a brokerage account. Most of them are non-monetary. I can't afford to quit working—not anytime soon, not in this economy.

I’ll need to keep earning a living for the foreseeable future—and perhaps that’s for the best. Creating, performing, and contributing are what give my life meaning. I would surely miss the connection with the audience and my bandmates, were I to leave it all behind.

But I can’t just keep going until the wheels fall off, and I won’t wait around for the slow fade to occur naturally. I must shape the process intentionally, little by little.

This body, mind, and spirit call for a deliberate downshift to a sustainable pace.

Maybe “retirement” isn't the right word. Maybe what I'm after is merely a gentler tempo.

I’ll continue to make the best music I can for as long as I can, for whomever is listening. I’ll simply do more with less: smaller projects, shorter tours, fewer gigs. From here on, it’s quality over quantity.

No retirement party.
No celebratory splash.
No farewell tour.

Just a long, slow decrescendo.

Diminuendo al niente.

“Der mentsh trakht un got lakht.”
Man plans and God laughs.
—Yiddish Proverb

In my most recent slow living update, posted at the end of March, I was upbeat.

The curse had been lifted!

The one-battle-after-another constant crises of 2025 were in our rear view mirror.

This was a brand new year, I sighed with relief. The Year of Slow Living.

I was encouraged, because the first quarter had been entirely free of drama. I'd been able to sustain a gentle, stress-free lifestyle for three full months, managing the RA and making all my gigs without incident or injury.

Moreover, springtime had awakened in me a resurgent feeling of purpose. I felt confident and ready to take on the month of April and its more demanding tour schedule.

“I’m not worried,” I wrote. “I’ll take my time and enjoy the journey. My only job is to pace myself.”

You know what happens next: Man plans, and God laughs.

Two days later I’m in the hospital, the entire tour is canceled, and slow living is suddenly, and quite literally, “just what the doctor ordered.” I was given no choice. I'd been sidelined. The month ahead would now be, out of necessity, entirely about rest, recovery, and rehabilitation.

Being sidelined is scary. After all, there's no “paid leave” in our line of work. Fortunately, I haven't had to face this alone. I'm so grateful for the support we received this month from caring friends and family members.

I’m not gonna lie. These solitary weeks in the hunker bunker have not been easy. 

I've been working hard, faithfully following the PT program designed by my care team, stretching the joints and tendons, incrementally pushing through the pain, gradually rebuilding strength and endurance. And I've been diligently practicing rudiments on the horn for a little longer each day, steadily recovering dexterity and fine motor function in my hand and fingers. 

Now it's time to suit up, get back out there, and face the music once again!

Tomorrow is my first gig since the surgery, but I’m not worried.

I’ll take my time and enjoy the journey.

My only job is to pace myself.

Only one more week remaining here in the hunker bunker! I’m fighting the good fight.

Hand rehab is going well: 90 minutes of PT weekly, plus prescribed exercises several times daily.

I’m not yet able to fully extend my fingers or make a fist, but I’ve recovered most sensation and flexibility, and the pain is almost entirely gone, which is encouraging.

Most importantly, I’m able to practice for a little longer each day, so it should be safe to return to work soon.

The stiffness in my fumbling flugel fingers, however, is supremely frustrating!

Passages I could play before with lyrical ease are now difficult to execute.

So it’s back to basics: scales, patterns, and etudes. Shout out to my old nemesis Herbert L. Clarke!

I play each exercise slowly with the metronome, gradually increasing the tempo, only after I’m able to place each note precisely and with equal weight. It’s mind-numbing work, but necessary.

Meanwhile, I’m also battling the bean-counting bureacrats of the deviously labyrinthine Medical-Industrial Complex. Sigh. #IYKYK

In the martial art of Aikido, the Japanese term “randori” (乱取り), literally “seizing chaos,” is an advanced technique in which the practitioner must improvise a defense against multiple attackers.

Opponents strike randomly using a variety of weapons. The unarmed randori master, alone at the center of this chaotic whirlwind, remains relaxed and ostensibly motionless. He anticipates, reacts, and deflects, expending little effort, even as he sends assailants flying in every direction.

What a beautiful and inspiring image!

To calmly face all of life’s battles—mental, physical, financial, existential—with grace.

Seizing chaos! Stillness within motion. You dig?

Fortunately, we don't have to fight every battle alone!

Thank you all for your encouragement and support.

Preparing for my future TED Talk: 
Vigilant Diligence for Digital Impediments to the Rudiments Regimen

Update: two weeks post-surgery, and rehabilitation is proceeding apace!

Now able to practice for 45 minutes with only minimal pain and stiffness, adding 5 minutes daily.

Feeling so very grateful to everyone for the help and encouragement.

“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is Patience.”
—Ralph Waldo Emerson

It’s been a week since my surgery and I’m feeling cautiously optimistic.

The hand seems to be healing and there’s no sign of any lingering infection.

I’m grateful for the generous support we’ve received, and all the encouraging messages from family and friends.

It really helps, at times like this, to know that people care.

I’ve been doing my part, following doctor’s orders:

• taking the antibiotics and pain meds,
• resting well and sleeping through the night,
• scheduling follow-up visits and physical/occupational therapy sessions,
• keeping the bandaged right hand clean, dry, elevated, and stationery, and
• learning to use my left hand for literally everything.

Chops-wise, progress is slow.

A week in the hospital without practicing definitely weakened my embouchure, but the flugelhorn and I are becoming friends again.

I started with Donald Duck mouthpiece rudiments (much to Sassy’s delight), then transitioned to lefty long tones and lip slurs on the horn.

The real work begins next Friday. That’s when they’ll remove my stitches and I can start to regain strength and facility in my dominant hand.

I know myself. I’ll be tempted to try and speed things along by playing through the pain, but that would risk further injury.

The experts advise to start slowly, practice for a few minutes, then add 5 additional minutes each day.

The idea is to gradually rebuild endurance and fine motor function until I can play comfortably for a couple of hours.

Then, and only then, can I safely return to work.

I’m determined to get this right.

That’s a wrap on the first quarter! 

So far, so good.

RA-wise, I’m doing better. The pain is manageable, but the fatigue is frustrating, especially on show days.

I’ve never been a particularly powerful player, but I now require lots of rest breaks. Fortunately, my bandmates don’t mind spelling me from time to time.

The biologic medications are definitely helping. Progress is slow, but the rheumatologist advises me to be patient and stay the course. For the foreseeable future that means daily meds, weekly injections, monthly blood tests, quarterly x-rays, and regular doctor visits. I’ll begin physical therapy as soon as the insurance approval comes through.

Meanwhile, I’m making progress learning how to live and work with this condition.

We played twelve gigs this month, just enough to cover expenses. There was one cancellation due to weather, a significant loss financially, but the surprise “snow day” was a welcome gift.

As we prepare for more travels and adventures, I find myself reflecting on the month of March and why it always feels so laden with meaning.

March heralds the arrival of spring, a fertile time of natural and spiritual renewal, when new life begins as winter melts away.

Named for Mars, the god of war, March is also a battle cry. When spoken aloud, the word itself may trigger a visceral response. “March.” It strikes the ear like a command, to move forward.

Now here’s where it gets personal. 

Throughout the 1990s and early aughts in San Francisco, March was “Matheny Music Month,” when we staged the annual Dmitri Matheny Home Season. 31 days and nights filled with special programs, including workshops, commissions, charity events, scholarships, artists-in-residence, collaborations, premieres, symposia, talks, and performances for the home town crowd.

We borrowed the idea from dance companies: build a program in the winter, showcase it in the spring, tour it in the summer and fall.

The formula worked.

Our March series became an annually anticipated event in the jazz community, while providing the framework for one energetic, somewhat delusional, young flugelhornist to launch a career in one of the world’s great cultural meccas.

It enabled me, fresh out of college, to immerse myself in the vibrant Bay Area arts community, collaborating with respected elders, creating new connections, building audiences. And it provided the means to maintain a visible profile at home while making a name for myself on tour.

My heart swells with gratitude when I remember all our partners in the project, from our fellow creatives, to the generous patrons who made it all possible. I’m especially grateful for the journalists and volunteers.

Remember, email was brand new and social media didn’t yet exist. To get the word out, we relied on word-of-mouth, postal mailings, and coverage in the traditional print and broadcast media.

We organized volunteers into “mailing parties” and “street teams.” The older folks would sit around my kitchen table, sticking postage stamps and address labels onto thousands of invitations, newsletters, and media releases. The younger ones distributed stacks of handbills and flyers to nightclubs, cafes, community bulletin boards, coffee shops, grocery stores, libraries, laundromats, and other high-foot-traffic areas in the region. It was a monumental undertaking on a shoestring budget.

Sigh. That was long ago. We made a splash at the time, but in the scheme of things, did it matter? Many of the venues, publications, and people involved are sadly no longer around. 

And yet. I still feel the tug and twinge of those “March Madness” years. Like the itch of a phantom limb after amputation, March awakens something in me.

Call it vestigial ambition. Embers from an old fire. Forgotten, but not gone.

Now April is here and we’re on the road again. 17 events in Washington, Oregon, and Northern California.

I’m not worried. I’ll take my time and enjoy the journey.

My only job is to pace myself.

This is The Year of Slow Living.

The mission is to pace myself and persevere.

February was just right — the perfect balance of work and rest.

We’ve enjoyed the rain this month, ideal for cozy evenings by the fire. Sass is disappointed we haven’t had any snow, but personally, I don’t miss it. Winter driving is no joke, especially over these northwest mountain passes! No snow or hail for me, thanks. But rain? Rain is life.

On show days I endeavor to practice effortless action. Easing into the morning calmly and mindfully, I do what is necessary, one thing at a time. Then I pack up the van and hit the road early, allowing plenty of stress-free travel time. I listen to music and enjoy the drive, remaining alert, taking breaks.

When I arrive early, the performance takes care of itself. Prepare, adapt, enjoy.

We gave our new program a “soft launch” this month on a couple of low pressure gigs, and the results were encouraging. This show is a crowd-pleaser, lively and entertaining, but isn’t overly demanding. The flashy flugel-heavy moments are balanced by opportunities to rest while we feature other members of the band.

These strategic breaks will prove especially important when we play consecutive shows, but I hope to avoid too many back-to-back engagements this year. So far the itinerary looks manageable. We have 81 confirmed gigs, and will accept no more than 100, so we can be selective as new opportunities arise.

On the RA front, I have good days and bad days. The biologic medications are definitely working, and I’m grateful for the functionality and mobility they help to make possible.

Some stiffness and soreness has returned, however, since I went off prednisone. Occasionally I have flares, random periods of pain and brain fog, and I often experience extreme fatigue the day after doing anything strenuous. Recovery days have become mandatory.

When I ask about remission, the rheumatologist reminds me that “this is a marathon, not a sprint.” I dig, but marathons are exhausting. Nevertheless, we move forward.

Today is the first day of March and the beginning of our busy spring season. 

Important to stay on top of things without becoming overwhelmed. 

Slow living is the key. Rise with the sun, tend my garden, play my role. 

Rest. Repeat.

Welp, after a year of steady progress, I managed to get within spitting distance of my goal weight, but was thwarted in the final stretch by the delicious treats of the holiday season! Predictable.

No matter! Will start fresh, and begin anew, on January 1. 

I wonder: how long will it take to break 200? 

When will I earn that GL “willpower” ring?

RESOLUTIONS 2026 — THE YEAR OF SLOW LIVING
I resolve to embrace the slower pace of this stage and season.

Slow down. Take my time. Do things right.

Protect the sanctity of my slow morning routine.

Embrace calm contentment. Reject hustle culture.

Do less of everything! Work less, eat less, spend less.

Be more selective. Say “no, thank you” easily and often.

Simplify! Live frugally. Prepare for retirement. Eliminate debt.

Get plenty of rest. Take naps! Relax. Refresh. Recharge. Rejuvenate.

Favor working close to home. Sleep in my own bed whenever possible.

Schedule 25% fewer shows. Accept no more than 100 bookings throughout the year.

Limit tours outside the region. Seek run-outs and residencies. Build rest days into every trip.

Take it easy on show days. Conserve energy during gigs. Alternate sitting and standing. Take breaks.

Master the art of living with RA. Learn how to better manage pain, inflammation, stiffness, and fatigue.

Spend more time outdoors. Align with circadian and seasonal cycles. Take nature walks. Go fishing.

Preserve mental health. Avoid negative people. Limit consumption of news and social media.

Prioritize gentle exercise: walking, stretching, swimming, chair yoga, tai chi. Motion is lotion.

Downsize! Minimize visual distractions. Declutter, sell, gift, donate.

Stay curious, calm, playful, and — most of all — grateful.

I resolve to maintain a simple, stress-free lifestyle built on gentle, sustainable habits.

1. Physical Health

Drink black coffee, unsweetened tea, and water.

Eat one meal a day, favoring vegetables and protein.

Limit consumption of alcohol, sugar, snacks, dairy.

Prioritize a daily nature walk and afternoon nap.

Stay current with prescription medications.

Visit the doctor and dentist twice annually.

Monitor blood pressure and weight.

Get plenty of quality sleep.

2. Mental Health

Avoid burnout. Say “no thank you” easily and often.

Stay connected. Reach out. Make time for friends and family.

Begin each day with affirmations. End each day with gratitude.

Talk less. No need to complain, explain, or entertain.

Schedule a multi-day solo retreat every 3-4 months.

Curtail consumption of news and social media.

Read. Rest. Sit quietly. Listen to music. Smile.

3. Finances

Practice frugality and minimalism. Limit spending to essentials. Give and receive simple gifts.

Make one money move (deposit, investment, bill payment, debt reduction) each and every day.

Pay off high interest cards and loans. Maintain current accounts. Keep credit utilization below 30%.

Avoid air travel and rental cars. Van-camp whenever possible. Don’t waste money on lodging.

Keep van and horn in good repair. Schedule an inspection before every big road trip.

Maintain OMAD and warrior diet protocols even when traveling.

4. Music / Business

Pace yourself. The hustle-and-grind years are over.

Do less of everything, but more deeply. Make it count.

Cast a wide net. Offer opportunities, follow-up, move on.

Never multi-task. Focus on a single project or tour at a time.

Value efficiency and sustainability over productivity.

Strive for slow, steady, incremental improvement.

Focus on community and collaboration.

Be purposeful, not ambitious.

Stay curious and inspired.

This year I resolve to work smarter, not harder.

I plan to pace myself, take my time, and do things right.

I’ll talk less, walk more, and appreciate every moment.

1. Sustain my daily routine at home.

• Wake up before sunrise. Walk, stretch, make bed.
• Handle all business before noon; reserve afternoons for music.
• Practice flugelhorn long tones and rudiments. Prepare repertoire.
• Read, study, walk dogs, run errands, and finish chores before daily meal.
• On gig nights: allow extra time, drive carefully, arrive early, and read my book.
• On free nights: enjoy television, movies, music, and podcasts.
• Before bed, put the day up for review and plan tomorrow.
• Practice deep breathing and mindfulness meditation.
• Sleep soundly for six hours or more.

2. Make the most of every road trip.

• Service van and replenish supplies before every tour.
• Plan ahead. Research each day’s driving route, meal, and nature walk.
• Drive no more than six hours daily. Rest every two hours.
• Schedule one (but no more than two) engagements each day.
• Cut costs to increase margins. Overnight with Harvest Hosts when possible.
• Maintain personal hygiene and stick to a regular sleep schedule.
• Recharge devices and handle business each morning.
• Plan breaks along the way for visits with friends.

3. Prioritize mental well-being.

• Relax, smile, and laugh. Choose to be in a good mood.
• Limit exposure to negative people and influences.
• Watch no more than 30 minutes of daily news.
• Spend no more than 10 minutes on social media.
• Get outdoors. Appreciate nature. Play with dogs.
• Schedule seasonal solitude retreats and staycations. 
• Make time for real conversations with friends.
• Be of service. Offer help and follow through.
• Avoid complaining, even to myself.
• Stay humble, hopeful, and grateful.
• Memento mori. Amor fati.

4. Prioritize physical health.

• Enjoy food and drink in moderation.
• Limit consumption of caffeine and alcohol.
• Follow OMAD and Warrior Diet protocols.
• Visit the doctor and dentist regularly.

5. Maintain financial discipline.

• Boost contingency fund by 20%.
• Increase retirement savings by 10%.
• Pay off 100% of consumer debt.
• Protect home and credit rating.

6. Shut up and listen!

• Hold few opinions and express even fewer.
• Listen more. Speak less. Two ears, one mouth!
• Remain curious, interested, and open-minded. Become laconic.
• When possible, try to make the point in one sentence, without preamble.
• In conversation, pause to think, then choose words carefully before speaking.
• When performing, settle down. Be a supportive listener, not a cheerleader.
• Rather than reacting impulsively, respond thoughtfully.

Made it home safely to sweet Sass and the fur-babies!

Since my bio-clock is still on midwest time, and Scout is a “morning person,” we’ve added an early AM neighborhood walk to our schedule. During today’s chilly moonlit ramble I reflected on Michigan, why I love the place so much, and why I keep returning.

The Great Lakes State figures prominently in my origin story. 

It’s the first place I lived after leaving home, where I first became serious about music, and where I found out what it means to live as an artist. It’s where I learned the values and habits that have nourished and sustained me: how to be creatively resourceful, emotionally resilient, financially independent. How to be a citizen of the world. It’s where the boy became the man.

So many “firsts” happened for me in Michigan. It’s where I met my first benefactor and my first great music mentor. It’s where I prepared my first concert as bandleader, and where I played my first paid gig. It’s also where I first experienced romantic obsession and heartbreak. 

I accepted my calling there, that “mournful yet grand” destiny of which Liszt spoke, the internal narrative which has shaped my entire life. The place is absolutely redolent with personal meaning, and each time I return to that poignant landscape, its familiar sights and sounds and smells bring back a rush of emotion, and my affinity for Michigan only deepens.

When I was planning this trip, I intended to include other favorite midwest venues in Chicago, Milwaukee, and Cleveland, but I simply ran out of time. Before I knew it I had filled every available date with “mitten bidness” — 21 concerts and workshops in as many days! 

I’m glad it worked out that way. 

The trip felt like a homecoming, not just back to my beloved Michigan, but back to myself. 

These past few years have been challenging, ruminating over the loss of my father, facing my own mortality, dealing with the financial impact of the pandemic, struggling with anxiety.

Yet in Michigan, standing before the brilliant Diego Rivera frescoes at the Detroit Institute of Arts, I had this epiphany: returning here has reminded me of who I am. 

Road life is rewarding, but it can also be exhausting, especially after so many trips around the sun. 

However, today I feel rejuvenated. I now believe I have another decade of traveling and performing in me, something I doubted before. 

October is the perfect time to visit Michigan. 

Criss-crossing the state, driving those winding backroads through the tunnels of trees, past all the rivers and lakes and farmhouses in the mist, with the autumn leaves swirling? Absolutely magical.
 

The other thing that made this trip so healing? The people.

My bandmates and I shared a big house together in Detroit. Lisa cooked Korean food for us, Tom shared several excellent bottles of wine, and we all talked late into the night about anything and everything. 

Our performances got stronger as we grew closer, something I haven’t experienced since my international travels with Amina Figarova years ago. 

But it wasn’t just my colleagues on the bandstand. 

All the venues were so warm and welcoming. 

The students and teachers were so inspiring. 

And the audiences were amazing! 

So much kindness, soulfulness, and generosity. So much joy.

Thank you, Michigan.

Had a ball working with Mr. Ivie’s students at Boyne City HS. Wonderful to witness so many girls and young women discovering the joys of jazz. Broke up the 4-hour drive to Hillsdale with a nature walk and leaf-peeping in Roscommon State Forest. Enjoyed a hearty bowl of cajun shrimp pasta at a roadside brewpub, then stopped at a rest area for a brief flugel sesh. So grateful for this simple life of simple pleasures. Excelsior! 

After our thrilling show at the Blue Llama, I drove through the night to the quaint little village of Shelby in western Michigan for a 7 AM workshop. (Pro-tip for night-drivers: staying awake is easy when you’re scream-singing along with Olivia Rodrigo’s “Vampire” at the top of your lungs!) 

The Shelby HS students were brave and bold — everyone improvised! — and their delightful teacher, Erin Ray, even played drums for our session. 

Upon returning to Detroit, I visited the Dearborn HS program under the direction of Brian McCloskey. His jazzers meet even earlier — 6:40 AM — but these kids showed up ready to work!

Back-to-back “zero hours” on opposite sides of the state are no joke for a tired old road dog like me. Nevertheless, I’m grateful for the opportunity to work with such inspiring young students and teachers. Their energy and enthusiasm always seem to replenish the spirit. 

Excelsior!

Ann Arbor’s Blue Llama Jazz Club is a spectacular venue with award-winning cuisine, aesthetic lighting and design, excellent sound (right on, Jacob), and a very hip crowd. Warm thanks to owner Don Hicks, artistic director Dave Sharp, and the professional staff for taking such good care of the band. And much appreciation to our guest soloists: my longtime friend vocalist Joan Belgrave, rising stars trumpeter Carter Haugen and saxophonist Tim Grieme, and the man himself, Don Hicks, who played some tasty licks for us on an historic trumpet that once belonged to none other than Miles Davis. What a night!

After our thrilling week at Cliff Bell’s, I hung around suburban Detroit for a couple more days of solo workshops in Shelby Township and Bloomfield Hills. Then caught up on business, did a little laundry, ran a few errands, and rewarded myself with a few favorite gastronomic guilty pleasures: White Castle, Timmy Ho's, and Great Lakes Pasties. Always remember The Anschell Principle, kids: road calories don’t count!

Big day, big night! Afternoon workshops for two outstanding music programs — Pioneer and Community high schools in Ann Arbor — followed by an evening set at Moriarty’s in Lansing with the ace rhythm team of Jeff Shoup (photo credit), Lisa Sung, and Reuben Stump. Made lots of new friends, one of whom contributed some outstanding “Evergreen Girl” lyrics. Surprise celebrity appearance by the great Randle Gelispie! #respect

Be a man. Cowboy up! Don’t whine. Don’t complain. Just do what needs to be done.

Accomplish more with less effort. Use the tools of habit and ritual. Be resourceful.

Book extended tours: midwest (2023), western states (2024), east coast (2025).

Recommit to meal planning, black coffee, portion control, and nature walks.

Use fewer words. Say precisely what you mean and then stop talking.

Update duo, quintet, and big band repertoire. Prepare new sets.

Make time for long, meandering conversations with friends.

Maintain tourbus in excellent condition. Service regularly.

Update home security and emergency response plans.

Boost income from workshops by raising fees 20%.

Seek a mentor, a drinking buddy, and a side hustle.

Make the composition retreat an annual event.

Schedule a full week of rest in every season.

Stay humble. Stay hopeful. Stay grateful.

Take Sassy on a birthday vacation.

Selectively apply for grants.

Reduce debt by 10%.

Listen to the rain.

Learn to bowl.

Prepare.

Adapt.

This has been one for the history books!

It may take a little time before we return to pre-pandemic levels of activity. Several of our favorite venues, both at home and on the road, were sadly shuttered during the shutdown. For those that remain, the struggle is real. 

But thanks to YOU -- the clients, customers, friends and fans who sustain us -- little-by-little we’re getting back to business.

In 2022, the YEAR OF CASCADIA, we: 

traveled 33K miles
charted 11K spins and streams
 added 4K followers and subscribers  
played 132 concerts
directed 41 workshops 
produced 9 album release celebrations
 accompanied 8 talented vocalists 
headlined 7 music and arts festivals
published 6 original compositions 
planted 5 douglas firs
 recorded 4 podcasts 
arranged 3 large ensemble charts
completed 2 artist residencies
enjoyed 1 epic year 

Thank you for being part of it.

Here’s to 2023!

Cheers, 

~Dmitri

Said goodbye to Sunset Beach this morning and headed down to Monterey. 

Listening to NPR on the drive, I heard the news that Ramsey Lewis has died. 

It seems like we lose another hero every few days, but this one hits hard. 

30 years ago in May of ’84, Ramsey Lewis came to Interlochen Arts Academy for a performance with our studio orchestra. I was a senior in high school and he was the first “big name” jazz musician I’d ever met. 

He made a huge impression. I was blown away by his infectiously joyful performance and his extreme generosity toward me and the other student soloists.

It couldn’t have been very rewarding for him, sharing the stage with a bunch of teenage amateurs, but I can still see his thousand-watt smile, still hear his howls of approval, as we launched into “The ’In’ Crowd” and “Hang On Sloopy” — big Ramsey Lewis hits from the year we were all born! 

After the concert Mr. Lewis took the time to speak with each of us individually, encouraging us to pursue our dreams. Yes, he did. And we did. 

After that I began checking out his discography in the listening library, beginning with Upendo Ni Pamoja, the album recommended by my classmate Frayne Lewis, Ramsey’s son.

Later I discovered Mr. Lewis' collaborations with Maurice White and members of Earth, Wind & Fire, one of my all time favorite bands, and I was hooked. 

I suppose it’s no coincidence that tonight it will be my privilege to work with Leon Joyce, Jr., a longtime member of the Ramsey Lewis Trio.

Or that this weekend in Ashland, Oregon, Darrell Grant and I will play Mr. Lewis’ theme song, the spiritual “Wade In The Water” — a staple of our repertoire for 25 years.

Ramsey Lewis was far more than a Grammy-winning, chart-topping jazz and pop star. He was a true Gentleman of Jazz, the kind of Great Man that Kipling wrote about, who walked with kings but never lost the common touch. 

Mr. Lewis proved you can be both a serious artist and a crowd-pleasing entertainer. His worldwide reach and influence as a performer, educator, broadcaster, and recording artist, is profound, deep and lasting. 

He was called, he served, he counted. 

His legacy is secure.

Destination: Yreka CA 

Distance: 413 miles 

Scout and I are hitting the road today for California, Arizona, and New Mexico.

The first leg of our journey will take us all the way from Centralia, Washington to Yreka, California. 

$5 per gallon for gas is no joke!

Heartfelt thanks and a "free" music download for all our generous tour support contributors!

“I hide in plain sight. 
Same as you.” 
—Gustavo Fring 

I’m not a superstitious person by nature, but I was raised in the south where even educated folks recognize the power of signs and omens. Charlie’s gift of a tiny silver owl felt like such a signifier to me: a talisman of unknown provenance and portent. 

I began to carry the mysterious little figurine in my pocket, where it would gently jingle against my mouthpiece and pocket change as I walked. I carried it everywhere, like a good luck charm, and it seemed to be working. Within a few short years I’d established myself in San Francisco as a working musician, and had sold enough sponsorships to increase our jazz festival budget ten fold. 

In hindsight, this was during the tech boom of the early 1990s. Gigs were plentiful then because there were so many gainfully employed young people looking for a night out, and donations were up, too. The dot com bubble was expanding, the stock market was booming, and corporate support for the arts was ascendant. Bay Area businesses needed somewhere to park all that extra cash. Why not a nonprofit that offers exciting social events and a tax write off? It was an easy sell. 

I didn’t have that perspective at the time, however. Naively I thought I’d cracked the code! I felt powerful, like a double agent: professional jazz musician by night, hot shot sponsorship salesman by day. Oblivious to the unseen economic forces that conspired to pave my way, I credited my own skill and hustle, with perhaps just a little bit of secret “owl luck” thrown in for good measure. 

Over time my magical thinking grew deeper, abetted by echoes. Not only was I carrying the owl totem in my pocket, but I also began to notice similar statuettes in the executive offices of prospective sponsors. 

I would be in mid-pitch, sitting across from some corporate mucky-muck, when I would look over at the shelf behind them, and there it would be: another owl statue. I never said anything, but on more than one occasion I sensed a subtle nod or look of acknowledgment when I spied the owl. 

Like, I saw it. They saw me see it. Now what? 
 

It’s Tuesday night in San Francisco, and I don’t have a gig of my own, so I’m headed over to Sonny’s Place in North Beach to hear the incomparable flugelhornist Sweets Allen. 

For true fans of lyrical swing, it gets no better than Sweets and his honey-toned horn. He’s the real deal, a veteran soloist from the bands of Duke Ellington, Ella Fitzgerald, and Tony Bennett. Now in his 70s, Sweets is one of San Francisco’s most beloved musicians and one of the last great gentleman of jazz. 

For me, Tuesdays at Sonny’s are like graduate school. I rarely miss the chance to attend one of these weekly masterclasses.

Tonight Sweets is really living up to his name. His improvised lines are powerfully simple, pure, soulful, logical, and undeniably joyful. The warmth of his sound and the smile on his face combine to lift the spirits of everyone in the club. 
 

On the break I motion for him to join me at my table. Like my father, Sweets is a former school teacher, a wise elder who doesn’t mind sharing his accumulated knowledge. He patiently answers all my questions about music and life. 

“The main thing is to tell a story,” he advises, tapping his finger on the table for emphasis. “But it’s not like reciting a poem or singing a song. It’s got to be your story.” 

“Just be real,” he adds, “and never let the naysayers get you down. They’re everywhere, so keep your head on a swivel.” 

“Like an owl,” I say quietly. 

“Precisely,” he smiles, standing. 

“Which reminds me,” he adds before returning to the bandstand. 

“A little birdie told me you may be joining us.” 

Next:
THE OWL CLUB PART 5 — PARLIAMENT

Unhindered one may walk this good earth 

and see it’s bounty of living things 

One may find heaven 

wherever there is beauty 

All superfluous things are gone 

Simplicity itself remains 

and grows and gains 

what had been lost 

No more fighting just to hang on 

This is the good part of life 

The struggle is over 

What is there left to do 

but to do good? 

What is there left to say 

but to say truth?

     —Bill Matheny

“Untethered.” 

That’s the best word I could find to express the particular brand of loss that consumed me after my father died. 

I wasn’t in mourning so much as weary and resigned to the cruel finality of mortality, both his and, by extension, my own. I was even a little relieved because his suffering was over. 

In a way, Dad and I had already progressed through the first four stages of grief together — from denial to depression — while he was still alive, in hospice care. Only acceptance remained. 

I miss him terribly, but truth be told, I’ve been missing him since long before he passed away. I miss the man he used to be, before Parkinson’s and dementia robbed him of his mobility, wisdom and good judgement. By the time he succumbed to the disease, it had already been many years since we’d had a real conversation. Many years since I could benefit from his sage advice. 

With both my parents now dead, and no siblings or children of my own, it’s no wonder that I felt like an orphan. I’d experienced an inkling of that emotion only once before … when my marriage ended. 

Erica Jong describes divorce as “a ritual scarring that makes anything that happens afterward seem bearable.” She’s not wrong. I was gutted by the loss, not only of my wife and home, but of her family, whom I’d come to think of as my own. And I was surprised to lose nearly all the friends we’d collected over our 14 years together. It’s deeply unsettling and disorienting, after so many years, to no longer be responsible for, or accountable to, anyone. 

But even during the dark days of my divorce, Daddy Bill was there to commiserate and console. He was in my corner always. He never wavered. And now he’s gone. 

Because of the pandemic, I wasn’t able to be with him when he died, but I did visit him frequently during his final few years. I would return to Arizona for a week or more each season, and would sit with him for hours each day before heading off to the evening gigs that paid my travel costs. 
 

It’s difficult to know whether these extended seasonal visits to his assisted living facility were a genuine comfort to my father. He was embarrassed by his circumstances, and often when I returned each morning he didn’t remember seeing me the previous day. But every now and then his eyes would twinkle and he'd say something remarkably funny or insightful. He was still in there. 

Even in hospice care Dad somehow maintained a sweet disposition. For all his charm, however, he mostly avoided socializing with the other residents, opting instead to merely exchange pleasantries at meal time, then return to isolation. He had no interest in group activities or parlor games. He was a man who treasured his solitude, who loved to get outside and explore, but whose world had become oppressively small: a single twin bed in a tiny shared room. He often told me that he felt like a prisoner. It was heartbreaking. 

Sadly, he was no longer a man of letters, either. Books, his lifelong companions, were no longer of any interest. His hands weren’t steady enough to write, his eyes weren’t strong enough to read, and his attention span wasn’t long enough to follow the narrative of a novel or movie. Much of the correspondence sent to him remained unread. He appreciated postcards, greeting cards, small talk, and short conversations, even phone calls, as long as someone could help him operate his device. 

Most days I would just sit at his bedside and watch him drift in and out of sleep, while the TV spewed a continuous stream of conservative news and sports highlights. Sometimes we would talk about the weather or listen to an Eva Cassidy song. Occasionally we would venture into the other shared spaces of the care home, or sit outside on the patio, just for a change of scenery. But Dad needed to remain near the bathroom at all times, so we couldn’t go far. 

When he was able, we would shuffle around the tiny patch of desert surrounding the house. He tried valiantly to do it without his wheelchair or walker, but it was only a matter of time before even these small, slow walks around the block were too much for him. Yet even during our last few walks, although he struggled to finish a thought, he could still recall the latin names of all the neighborhood flora and fauna!

Dad’s been gone for over a year now and the world is diminished by his absence. I miss him something awful. And I must confess, while I don’t necessarily believe in an afterlife, I do find myself talking to him in quiet moments. I wonder what he would think of my life choices. I hope he would approve. 

Thankfully, I feel a little more “tethered” these days as I make a sincere effort to reconnect with distant friends and extended family. It’s especially comforting to spend time with other people who knew and loved him. 

Mostly I just feel grateful for everything he was, and will remain, in memory.